Chapter 10 ~ Delicate Situation

Edward

Sleep didn’t come, easily, the night I’d nearly taken Bella Swan, sexy computer geek, Pie Girl extraordinaire and last but not least, my very own almost stalker, against my father’s sorely under used kitchen counter.

I wanted to take her.

Very easily could have taken her.

God, I wanted to take her.

It wouldn’t have been right, though.  Or kosher.  Whatever that means. 

Karma.

It would have been bad karma, right?

To make hard, passionate, tension filled, possibly even dangerous love to a woman who was engaged?

Jesus.

I was uncomfortably hard, lying there, thinking about her hands on me.

Those words.

“It’s not your fault, Edward.”

They troubled me.

The smell of her skin.

Her lips against mine.

Her hips…gyrating against me like that…I hadn’t been grinded up against in…hell…I don’t think anyone’s ever really grinding against me like that.

Not even in Vegas.

And did she really have to dress like that, all the time? 

Have a laugh that made me want to smile every time I heard it?

Sip wine like that?

Eat my Guda? Like that?

I mean…She. Tasted…The. Berries.

I’d never forget the summer I’d planted that bush on the outskirts of the reds.  I thought the wines needed a little something more, ya know?

Carlisle, although he didn’t rip the bushes up out of the ground like I’d suspected he would…did ground me for about a month and had me clean the distillery after school, every day.

How did she pick up on that?  I knew experienced wine tasters that didn’t catch it.

And fuck, me, if that wasn’t the only things that she’d picked up on, that night.

I could have literally nut punched myself for pulling that shit with her.  My head was telling me not to kiss her…my other head was…in disagreement.  They told my lips to have a serious discussion with Bella’s lips over their teasing, taunting, sexy, stand outtish habits.

And they did.

I lay there, waiting for oh five hundred to roll around, I wished, badly, for some Tylenol to magically appear at my bedside.

Which  they didn’t, so I checked the clock.

Close enough.

I grabbed a bottle of water and about five of those Tylenol I’d wished for as I headed out the door and down my road for the brisk run I felt I’d needed to clear my head and make things at least seem  straightforward, again.

You’re leaving soon, I thought, as I passed mile marker number one.

And besides that, it was stupid, I’d conceded, as I ran through the previous night’s scenario, once more.

She’s taken, remember?  I reminded myself for the tenth…goddamn…time.

“Idiot,” I finally admitted.  Because I was.  In oh so many more ways than one.

…….

When the water and the headache were gone, I turned around and headed home, mentally ticking things off, that needed to get done for the day.

And I noticed something I hadn’t noticed, the other days that I ran.

Signs.

Lots and lots of signs.

The physical kind, not the fucking with your head kind.

The local wine makers competition was coming up, it appeared and I found myself grinning at the memories that all those signs ignited.

Me and Emmett working twenty four seven, practically, for my dad, getting ready for it, months in advance.

Spying on the other vineyards to see what they were preparing…and yeah, stealing a taste or two along the way.

Watching dad personally bottle his submission for the contest.

Despite my resentment for him, most days, I found myself in awe of his ability to pick just the right ones to enter into the competitions.

He’d won a lot, but also lost a lot, against the Voluturi family and it was always a tossup as to who was going to come up with the newest idea for final challenges.

Until that final year, that is.

The year I’d left.

Carlisle didn’t even bother entering, that year.  Said it was like a slap in the face to Aro and Marcus, after what I’d done to their fields.

And at that awesome memory, the grin was gone and so were the signs.

Every single one that I passed on the way back to the house, along with my curiosity about what to do with regards to Bella.

It was pretty obvious, after all.

…………

Breakfast was waiting for me, I noticed, as I took the short through the kitchen but Alice was no where around to thank, so I decided to go ahead and eat, before taking a shower, so it wouldn’t get cold.

She was a much better cook than I was, anyway.

The woman must have been timing me, I figured, to know when I’d be back and how long it would take to cook up the exact breakfast I’d been making myself since I’d come home.

I avoided looking in the direction of the kitchen counter, as I ate.

It was for the best.

Instead, I stared out of  the back picture window, at the vines, and noticed, they were starting to look how I’d remembered them all those years that I was gone.

I guessed that Carlisle hadn’t been neglecting them quite as long as I’d originally thought, since they seemed to be flourishing and I started trying to figure out a way to get the info out of Alice, about what had happened, exactly.

Because who knew if dad was ever even going to wake up.

I deleted that particular thought, as I shoved my hat down onto my head, making my way back out to the vines.

The day off I’d taken with Bella, suddenly felt like a week.

I felt better and had a more positive attitude about what was left to be done, despite the disparaging ending to the evening, that we’d had.

Pushing the guilt out of my thoughts, I decided avoidance was probably the best way to go, until I figured out a way to apologize without getting decked.

Because I was seriously pushing the envelope of that whole, friendship thing she’d proclaimed that we had going on.

In my mind, I made a plan for the day, deciding against taking a mid day break to go see Carlisle, and continuing inside for the latter half of the day, to get started on some of the easier, indoor projects I still had to take care of.

He was still in his deep sleep, or…at best, in and out of consciousness, it wasn’t like he was gonna miss me…

I trimmed the excess vines back, along one of my particularly favorite part of the crops.

It was where Emmett and I would take five when we were supposed to be doing homework, or the after school shit dad had us doing to… “teach us responsibility”.

The only difference was, Emmett got paid.

Me? 

I was just the son that…

Actually, it wasn’t like the old man was gonna miss me even if he was awake, I mean, let’s face it, the guy had probably signed me up as his emergency contact years ago and had just forgotten about it.  When he finally did wake up, he’d probably make a few small corrections to his paperwork, and his…

“Hey, Edward.”

“Holy!” Shit!

I nearly fell onto the clipping shears I held in my hands when she snuck up behind me.

“Jesus, Bella,”

She giggled.  “Sorry.”

And that laugh.

Here we go again.

“What are…what you doing here?” I asked her, completely stumbling over my own words, as I pushed the dirt off of my jeans to greet her.

See her…

Shit.

The daisy dukes and tank top were not….helping.

“I um…” she looked embarrassed.  “I mean, I just…” and bit her lip a little.

I felt every muscle in my body tensing at the body language she was emitting.  It made me both excited and uncomfortable, at the same time.

She was struggling with her words, just like I was, so I tried to lighten the mood a little.

“How’re you feeling today, Pie Girl?” I smiled and she rubbed her head a little. “Not as bad as I should, probably, I wish you would have warned me about wine hangovers.”

“Yeah, well, the better the wine, the less of a hangover…”

“So, what? You gave me the cheap stuff?” she interrupted, getting snarky with me. 

I liked the snark.

The snark was nice.

She got this, crazy sparkle in her eyes when she was being snarky, it made me smile harder.

“Hey, it was our first date…I didn’t wanna…”

Shit.

Again.

“I didn’t mean…date…I just meant…” I started and she was now beat red.

“Edward,” she began to ask and then I crossed my arms as she hesitated some more.  Because this was probably going to be the part where she told me what a fucking ass I was for kissing her like that, the previous night…and how she wouldn’t be baking me any more pies for a while.

Or ever.

“Yeah?”

I have such a way, don’t I?

“Did I…?” she stuttered. “I mean, did we…?” she took a breather.  “What I’m trying to ask you, is, did anything….happen…last night?”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Yet.

And hold the phone.

Because, did she just say what I think she said?

“Are you saying, you don’t remember anything?”  I asked her, because I do believe we might be having some memory loss.

She shook her head, slowly in answer and I was stunned into hope.

Pockets of time warps.

Think about it…

Gaps in the universe.

This could work for me.

“So, did…anything happen that I should be really embarrassed about, right now?”

“What do you mean?” I asked her, tilting my head just a tad as I deepened the crease between my eyebrows, to show my confusion.  There was no reason for her to know what had transpired.

No reason for her to hate me.

No reason to end the friendship, just yet.

“Well I…” she laughed at herself, then, and I inconspicuously adjusted my nether regions, appreciating the view she was giving me, all of a sudden.

“I think I had this dream, but it seemed…really…real…ya know?”

“Mmmm Hmmm?” I answered because I was pretty sure, had I tried to say something just then, my voice would have cracked.

“So we didn’t…I mean, did I…?”

And I’m sitting there, thinking to myself, why does she do this to me? I mean tell me you wouldn’t fuck with her.  She’s just too damn cute for her own good.

I curled my eyebrows up a little.

And yeah, I went there.

“Take all your clothes off and beg me to make sweet, sweet love to you out in the middle of my father’s vineyard?”

I waited for it.

Bella’s face.

Sometimes.

I just couldn’t take it.

The color left her, all together and I was pretty sure, she might have puked if she wasn’t such a lady.

The part of me that didn’t want to laugh, however, felt a tiny pang of hurt.

“Settle down, Pie Girl…nothing happened,” I told her, solemnly, and she breathed, again.

To my regret.

But, honestly, her reaction only reiterated what I’d already known.

That it had been a bad idea.

She was clearly thinking the same thing.

“So, you mean,” she started, stumbling a little.  “You didn’t…kiss me?”

She asked it as though she wasn’t quite sure, but had a feeling it might have happened and just needed my reassurance.

Which could have gone either way.

And since I didn’t want to risk the relationship I’d come to appreciate.

Didn’t want to risk not seeing her again.

I went with, “Bella, I’m pretty sure…” then leaned in a little and told her, “If I’d have kissed you the way you should be kissed, you wouldn’t be asking me if I’d kissed you, right now.”

There, I hadn’t actually lied.

I just, didn’t put a damper on something that didn’t need to be dampered…or, whatever.

I winked at her and turned around to look like I was going back to work but really, I just didn’t want her to see the sheer disappointment in my eyes.

You’re leaving soon, I reminded myself, silently.

Honest to God and the U.S. Army, I thought she’d take off after that.  You know?  Go home, re-assess things…get over whatever it was that was getting to her so much.

Instead, she simply asked, after a minute or two, “Need some help today?”

And I was both glad and…not glad, that she wanted to stick around.

I sucked in some air, as I continued pruning the vines.  “I dunno, Bella…you’re um…” and then, I couldn’t help myself anymore.

I looked back at her.

All of her.

“Not…dressed right.”

She laughed a little, through her nose and rolled her eyes at me.  “Edward, you say that every time I come here.”

Then I had to actually put the pruning shears down. “And yet, you still dress wrong, fascinating,” I told her, sarcastically.

She laughed.

I laughed.

And I really wished she’d stop wearing the shorts and tanks.

“You know, seriously, you might wanna wear something a little more…cover uppy,” I said, waving a hand around at her and she looked like she was trying to assess something.

Me?

“Why does my attire bother you, so, Edward?”

“No, I mean…no, it’s just that…I mean you’re fine…you’re…more than fine..you know, it’s…the bugs and…things…” I shook my head and she just kept on laughing like there was some inside joke that I wasn’t quite ready to hear, yet.

And then we went up to the house to get her some freaking pants.

I needed water, anyway.

And yes, I told her it was so the bugs wouldn’t eat her up again but really, it was so I wouldn’t have to work the vines with a hard on…’cause God knows, I can only stare at Bella’s ass for so long before I would refuse to be held accountable for touching it.

Again.

I mean, shit…

I thought it was hard being around her before our…close encounter.

My life was about to suck, tenfold.

Knowledge is not power.  This, I can say with one hundred percent, no shit, this is going to suck balls, passion.

The day went about as well as I could have expected.

There were a few times, I thought she had something she really wanted to talk about but then she’d just blow it off…and there were times when I contemplated ‘fessing up to our make out session but quickly decided against it, wondering what good it would have done, anyway.

Except to create one seriously guilt ridden woman, for the rest of her life with…what’d she say his name was?

Anyway…all in all, Bella made things fun, somehow and if I could sell the woman’s positive attitude, I’d never have to work again.

And it was never ending, it seemed.

While she told me about the Hale’s website and how it was coming along, I imagined sucking the life force out of her, and…I mean, not sucking the life force, because that would mean, my mouth would be places that were…highly inappropriate and that would mean that I’d also need my hands in certain…places…and then that would lead to…

I shook my head a little.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, imagining that I was bottling her life force up….and then I’d shelve it for inventory and as my first customer pulled one out of place and slid it across the counter, saying, “One, Bella Swan, please,” I had this sinking feeling, in the pit of my stomach.

One that couldn’t imagine parting with that life force, no matter how much it was worth.

“Edward,” she laughed, throwing some dead weeds at me and I blinked a few times.

“What?”

“Aren’t you listening?”

“Oh yeah, of course I am.”

She stooped in front of me as I clipped another weed.

I really wished she’d stop doing shit like that.

And Bella in an old ratty pair of my sweat pants, by the way?  Not helping in the fantasizing department.

Not to mention, every time she leaned down to pick something up, out of my way, or…lean a little too far to grab at some excess weed or vine…

The cleavage…

It was…

Perfect.

And very…in my face.

A constant reminder of what I’d been very close to seeing with no bra on, the night before.  It made me want to grab her tiny shoulders and kiss her on those pink lips of hers, again.

A lot.

Which would be completely inappropriate.

“What’s the matter with you?” she asked as I backed away from her, standing up, checking my watch to busy myself.

Those lips…

Oh man…those lips…

Okay, stop it.

“It’s…time for inside jobs,” I said, matter of factly and then I took in the fields, breathing in the grape’s frangrances.

And smiled.

If it was a sense of pride building or…just the fact that I was that much closer to get rid of that land, I didn’t know, didn’t care either…I just, liked it.

“Something I can help with?”

I wanted to tell her no.

Wanted her to stop clouding my thoughts with Jedi mind tricks about stealing her away, wiping her memory of the fiancé and forgetting about my commitments to my Commanding Officer.

However, all good things must come to an end.

And that thought, was ended with Emmett McCarty, pulling up my father’s drive.

“Awesome.”

Bella started to ask me what I was referring to, when she noticed the change in my facial expression, and the direction in which that facial expression was pointing.

She let out a sigh, much like the one I wanted to let out and said, “That’s it…I am so giving him a piece of my mind, what I do with my own time is..” but I stopped her and let my own knowledge of what Bella was also forgetting, be said.

“He’s not here for that.”

I pulled my gloves off as I walked over to meet him. 

Emmett was not one for beating around the bush, even when we were little and he proved no different that day.

“What’s your goal, here, Edward?” he asked me, shutting the driver’s side door before he leaned up against it.

“My…” I laughed at him and his whole; I’m bigger than you and could still woop your ass if I needed to attitude.

“And…why is this information needed?” I retorted, showing no fear.

Because I, for one, knew, he wouldn’t be wooping my ass again.

“I wanna know if I should kick your ass now, or after you’ve hurt Carlisle.”

See?

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Why are you fixing the vines up?”

“Why do you care?”

“I care because Carlisle was the dad I never had and…”

“HA!” I finally shouted. When was Carlisle ever anyone’s dad?

Bella was approaching our little…conversation, I could feel it.  And her eyes were on me.  They were like that single ray of sunshine that makes it through the storm clouds, just after the rain stops.

And they were bearing down on me.

“Edward, you might have had your differences with the man, but he was never anything but good to me…” Emmett pulled me back into our disagreement, of sorts.

“Well bully for you, Em…what the hell is it that you want, exactly?”

…fucking over this shit.

“I know Carlisle signed authority over to you while he’s sick, but what happens when he’s better?”

What, was it poke a stick at Edward’s open wounds, day, or something?

I felt my temper failing me.

Emmett was either pushing my buttons, purposely, or….he was pushing my buttons, purposely.

And I was done.

“I haven’t really thought about a specific goal, Em,” I told him.  “…but my plan is to fix this shit hole up, sell it…and if Carlisle does somehow pull through, I plan  to set him up in a nice home where he’ll be taken care of until he can no longer pull through anything.”

Then because there was dead air and because I couldn’t stand the look Emmett was giving me, I added, “Satisfied?” before turning to walk the rest of the path, up toward the house.

“Are you planning to sell to the Volturi family?” he called after me and I stopped, turned slowly toward my old friend, if one could still refer to him as that, that is, and swallowed down the urge to crack his skull open for that one.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

He waited.

I waited.

He was actually serious.

I hadn’t planned on selling to them, obviously, there was no way in hell I’d ever sell to them.  But because Emmett had just pissed me off so completely…and royally with that insinuation, I told him, “I plan to sell to the highest bidder, Em, why, are you placing an offer?”

And at that, he blew air through his nose at me, looked passed me like I wasn’t there, to Bella, and asked her, “You gonna be home for dinner later?”

I didn’t look back at her.

Part of me was hoping she’d say no.

The other part…

“I’ll call, okay?” she’d said.

“Whatever,” Emmett answered and then I made a split decision that I wasn’t in the mood for company, anymore.

“Go home, Bella…” I said to her, with near hatred in my voice, not making any eye contact, whatsoever with him, or her.

No more sexually charged bantering, for the day, for me…or continuously debating with myself over keeping my hands off of her.

I needed a clear head and Bella’s mere presence didn’t allow for that.

And yeah, she’d probably been put off, maybe even hurt over my attitude, but I she’d get over it.

She wouldn’t be in Napa for much longer, either, after all, and then she could go home, spend her life…baking fucking cookies, for all I knew.

It wasn’t my problem.

None of this was my fucking problem.

I needed to stop allowing myself the interruptions, distractions and…Bella’s, and start getting my head back where it belonged.

And by the near end of my day, I was just about there.

I had been just about finished with replacing the door to Carlisle’s master bedroom when my cell phone rang and I waited to see what number showed up on the caller ID before setting my tools down and answering it.

A call from the hospital surely deserved my attention, I’d decided.

“Mr. Cullen, I’m so sorry to bother you at home with this…I…..”

“What’s wrong?

“It’s your father, he’s….”

Everything I’d eaten, drank or looked at that day, so far, threatened to exit the building, immediately, when I asked, “Is he…?”

I couldn’t say it.

Couldn’t finish the question.

Why was that?

“Oh, god no, I’m sorry, no…he’s…”

“What?  For crying out loud…?” I asked, losing my temper, all over again.

“He’s awake.”

And then, without even ending the call, I threw everything down, that I still had in my hands, flew down the stairs, grabbing the keys and only barely noticing Alice, standing in the kitchen doorway as I left to go hear a better prognosis on my father.

As I drove over to Sonoma, my heart beat rapidly, thinking back to the last time I’d actually spoken to Carlisle.  It hadn’t been your typical, father son goodbye.

It had been the buildup of years filled with resentment and hurt.

I’d just turned seven years old, when I first had feelings of what I’d perceived as hatred, toward my dad.

I was two weeks shy of twelve, the first time I’d told him.

We had been arguing over my grades, for one thing, that day and every time we’d argued lately, back then, I seemed to throw my mother’s absence in his face.

Blamed him.

Blamed me.

Broke things.

I’d pushed him pretty hard, thinking back…at breakfast, in the fields, when he took me into town for groceries…and things were starting to come to a boiling point, just after dinner but I hadn’t let up.

He wasn’t yelling, yet.  He’d been trying to remain calm and collected about the whole thing.

Until I’d said it.

“I hate you.”

And then, he stopped picking our dishes up off of the table and looked pointedly at me.  “Excuse me?”

“She left because you’re a dick, and she thinks I’m a dick, too, doesn’t she?”

“Edward, you watch your mouth, son.”

“All you really care about is this house, your fields…your precious wines…”

“That’s not true, I…”

“No wonder she left,” I’d laughed.  “You drove her away because you didn’t have room for her in your stupid life…just like you don’t have room for me.”

“Edward,” he warned me.

“I’m just fee labor to you.”

I remember his face when I’d said that. 

Like he was ready to unleash a serious hurting on me for talking to him like that, but I’d had enough of holding everything in, pretending things were fine, when really, they were just shit.

A few more choice words were spilled, that night, before I finally left and went to my room while dad was screaming after me to come back down, but I didn’t.  And from that day forward, there really wasn’t much to say between the two of us.

The more Carlisle pushed, the more I pushed right back, just to piss him off.

Or get his attention, maybe.

Looking back, maybe that was it, but then, at twelve, you don’t always see things very clearly.

And anyway, regardless, it hadn’t worked.  He only became less of a parent and more of a…landlord, putting up with me, just long enough, until he could finally kick me out and be rid of me, for good.

But I’d beat him to it, hadn’t given him the satisfaction.

I’d left.

The last thing I’d had to say to him was that he’d never have to worry about me, again or visa versa.

Now I was about to face that demon and prove myself a liar.

Again.

A/N:  Delicate wines are light, distinctive and refined but not timid.