Chapter 5 ~ Subtle Aftertaste

EDWARD

“I can’t breathe,” I said to Jake while we were investigating the third banquet hall of the day, in the Windy City, trying to decide which one would suit our wedding, best.

I put hand hand to the middle of my chest.

“I don’t think I feel very well.”

He laughed at me and scratched at the top of my head.  “You’re fine, Bella,” he advised me, like the very non-doctor that he was, then inspected my hair a little more closely.  “Your roots are showing though, you might wanna re-dye before the big day.”

He winked at me, then joined his mother over by the dance floor to discuss the acoustics and whether or not we should do ballroom dancing or Swing to our first dance.

He hadn’t heard me.

He never did.

He meant well, though.

“I mean it, Jake, I think I’m having chest pains,” I’d said, later that night as we were snuggled up on the couch, watching the last bit of whatever sports program was on that night.

I really wasn’t paying much attention.

“You want me to stay home and take care of you, tonight?” he asked, pulling me into him and kissing my forehead. “You’re not feverish, I can call my mom, if…”

“No,” I told him, flat out.  “I probably just need some sleep or something.”

I smiled and he patted me on my head before getting up to go get ready for his shift.

Jake was head of security for one of the most prestigious software companies in Chicago but they’d been having issues with some of the late night employees understanding of just what “not sleeping on the job” meant, so he needed to go take care of the communication gap, as he liked to put it.

After he’d showered and gotten dressed, kissed me goodbye and I watched him drive down the quieted streets before disappearing into the night…

I packed a few bags, called my cousin out in California, and left for a little…me time.

The note I left for Jake would explain why I was going.

It would also tell him I wasn’t sure when I’d be back.

We still had until the end of the summer.

We had plenty of time.

I…had plenty of time to work this out.

Whatever it was.

………………

“Bella!  Can you come down here and show me how this thing a ma jig works, again?”

My eyes felt like lead but I managed to throw my legs over the edge of the bed, blindly.  I breathed in once, then let it out, allowing my head to hang down to stretch the muscles in the back of my neck.

It wasn’t the bed.  The guest room that the Hales had set up for me while I stayed with them that summer was quite…cozy.

No, my muscle pain was courtesy another type of pain.

Well…not pain…per say…he was kind of a pain, but not really in the bad sense…although, he is kinda bad…he’s a bad…bad…

Oy.

I shook the thoughts about the seemingly rough, chip on his shoulder Army Vineyard owner who was quite adorable, actually, in his own, snarky kind of way, out of my head and forced myself to stand.

Then I felt my way to the bathroom door, feet shuffling, thighs burning.

I was so tired, and sore and….

The sun burn…

I squinted my eyes open after turning the light on, blinding myself and looked over my shoulder, into the mirror at the pink skin on my shoulders and poked at it.

Ouch.

“Sssss! Mother effer! Jeeze!”

I didn’t honestly know if Edward had purposely not told me to put some sun screen on because he thought it would be funny to watch me be in pain today..not that I’d be seeing him today…, or if he didn’t own any or if he just didn’t believe in it but I was obliged to believe more in the last option than any other.

He didn’t seem to believe in much of anything, that man.

Besides, it was my own fault, really.  I just…forgot.

I checked my phone and saw that there was another text from Jake on there from overnight.  I decided to respond before he sent out every available police officer from Chicago, to come looking for me.

He was worried, which was understandable.

I’m fine. I’ll call soon, promise. ~ B

Part of me felt bad for not calling him but I needed this.

The space.

Things were just getting…too…

“Bel-LAH!”

I groaned and yelled back down to Mr. Hale, “I’ll be down in a few! Gonna grab a shower!”

Sometimes I wondered if I really was a morning person, or if I just liked to tell myself I was a morning person.

Once I was clean and…got the sun bun pain semi under control, I bounced down the stairs of my hosts and found Emmett, with the rest of the Hales, in the den area of the Hale’s house, where we’d set up a pseudo office, until Emmett could build them a proper one.

Mr. Hale was tapping something onto the lap top I’d brought with me and it made me cringe.

Then he noticed I was behind him and fell into full on frustrated mode.

“I cannot…” he tapped away some more. “Figure…” tap tap tap “This thing…OUT!” he growled and I put my hands over his, finally and begged him, “Please…do not do that, Mr. Hale, computers are very sensitive creatures, despite their hard exteriors.”

Much like Edward Cullen.

“Stop it.”

“Okay, okay,” he said in response to my words that I wasn’t actually saying to him.

“Ya gotta watch my father, Bella,” Rosalie Hale said from the kitchen. “He’s too impatient to wait and find out how to do most things the correct way, you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t set the thing on fire before the day’s out.”

I giggled a little at her teasing.

The Hales had graciously allowed me to spend some time practicing setting up a live web site for them while I was staying there.

It was my passion, my talent, and my hope to open up a Web Design start up after mine and Jake’s wedding.

I just needed some guinea pigs to help me get some photo examples and references for work I’d done.

It was the perfect way to re-pay them for letting me crash with them so unexpectedly and…indefinitely.

I inspected the machine I’d brought with me.   It was an old hand me down from Jake that he’d given me a while back and I thought I could tinker with it while I was taking a breather to try and help myself focus and just…not…think so much, I guess.

I started a list of what I’d need to get started when Mrs. Hale offered to go get everything for me.

She was just trying to be nice, but I couldn’t spend all my time there hanging out in their house, lounging around, doing…nothing, so, I told her, “Oh, no, really, Mrs. Hale, I’ll get everything, don’t worry, I know what I need and it’ll just be quicker if I do it, myself.”

I just needed to know where  to go to get everything.

I hate not knowing my way around places.

“I’ll take ya,” Emmett said and I waved him off. “Nah, I think I can handle the truck today,” I laughed. “Plus,” I waved my phone at him. “I have my super secret communicative device, today.”

He started to get defensive, I could see it in his eyes, but then, Rosalie started to laugh, covering her mouth...then I laughed at her trying not to laugh…then Emmett joined in, realizing he was being silly.  His father followed suit and then finally, his mom, piped in.

I couldn’t really tell you why we were laughing so hard, but soon enough, we just could not seem to put a halt to the fits we were all having all of a sudden.

I had tears in my eyes at one point.

“We could sure use a little more laughter around here, these days,” Mrs. Hale said in between giggles.

“Yeah, maybe we can hire a town jester,”  Emmett added.

I laughed, remembering a few quips I’d heard the day before over at the Cullen’s vineyard. “You mean, like Edward.”

And at that, everyone stopped the giggling and chuckling and looked me.  Emmett’s face was telling me, Good job, and I said, “What? He’s funny.”

Emmett snorted. “Yeah, not since he was twelve.”

Rose rubbed his arm, in consolation and I felt a familiar pang to know the story behind Emmett and my newly found friend who didn’t like to talk much, it seemed.

However…I wasn’t letting him get away with the sarcasm. “You haven’t seen him in four years, Emmett, how would you know?” I asked him, and that seemed to shut him up.  Then my eyebrows shot up a little.  “Maybe he found his sense of humor while he was gone.”

His face, at my suggestion, was…perplexed. 

“What’s with you two, anyway?”

The Hales and Rosalie watched the exchange between the two of us and then Rose was the one who finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

“Em, you still owe my car an oil change, babe…come on, before it gets too hot out.”

“Sure thing,” he answered her, slowly pulling his  eyes from mine and then I decided, it just wasn’t time, yet so I grabbed the keys to the truck that the Hales were letting me use and started to leave.

“You uh…talk to Jake, yet, Bells?”

I let out an audible sigh, so that he could hear it.

“Um, nope, not yet,” I smiled and started out the door again.

“You gonna?”

Bigger, larger, more desperate sigh.

“Probably,” I said, trying not to sound too annoyed. “Do you…have a message for him, Emmett? I can give you his number.”

I innocently waited for his response and I think he finally took my hint.  The one that said, mind your own business, and then he just replied, “No, just, curious,” as he continued eating his breakfast.

“Okay, well, I’ll be back, then.”

“When?” Mrs. Hale asked me and although the way she’d asked it seemed extremely nosy, I decided to assume she simply wanted to know so that she could plan for dinner.

“I’ll call, okay?” I asked, waiting to see how that would go over and she just smiled and nodded and told me, “Have a nice time, dear.”

I’m free!

Okay, not really…but for the moment…

I climbed up into the old clunker and turned on the radio and headed toward the electronics store that Emmett had told me about that was over in Sonoma.

It was supposed to be better than the ones around Napa.

We’ll see.

And I did.  I hit the jackpot, actually.  The store had everything and anything a computer geek would want and love and play with and I probably spent way too much time in there, looking through everything, seeing what some of the new gadgets that were out, did.

Some additional memory, photoshop software and a digital camera later, along with enough extra batteries  to last me the summer and it was almost lunch time. 

I was looking for a fast food joint when I happen to notice my new friend, Edward Cullen, walking up the side walk as he…exited…a…cab.

He doesn’t WALK everywhere, I thought and giggled slightly, shaking my head at him and his rough exterior.

He had that same old baseball cap on.  Nothing special really about his attire but the way he wore jeans and a tee shirt….

Stop it, Bella.

I watched him for another minute as I waited for the red light to turn green, bouncing the heel of my foot as it held the brake pedal down.

When I saw that he was entering a hospital, curiosity was about to kill the cat as I made a split decision to park, follow him in and see what he was doing there.

I made the first turn I could and I was pretty sure I’d parked illegally but…whatever and just as I entered through the double doors of the entry way to the hospital lobby, I saw Edward, entering an elevator.

Think, think, think.

I eyed the receptionist, who didn’t seem to be paying too much attention to anything, so I sneaked over to her desk, but not like I was inquiring about anything, I just…stood there like I was waiting for someone, then I reached my body out a little, looking over her desk, to the visitor’s sign in sheet and scanned it for Edward’s name.

Boo ya!

Looking all around me to make sure no one noticed I was doing something, no doubt, against hospital policy, then I jumped onto the same elevator I’d seen Edward get onto and took it to the floor I guessed I would find him on.

After wandering around a bit, I did just that.

And stopped short to take in what I couldn’t bring to interrupt.

It looked as though he was having a highly intimate moment with someone I wasn’t sure what his relationship was to…a father, maybe…uncle?  And I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

So I leaned against a wall just outside the room and watched.

I watched him empty a glass of water and refill it, then set it next to the man in the bed.

I watched him have a conversation with someone who didn’t appear to be awake or…conscious even.

Then I watched as he sat down, finally, and took a moment to himself, bending forward, putting his elbows onto his knees and his face into his hands.

He sat like that for a few minutes, when his cell phone went off and he looked at it, and…

Wait a minute…

“I thought you said you didn’t have a phone,” I burst out, forgetting all about the fact that I was trying to stay hidden from him, stalking up to him in only a half annoyed kind of way and he did this, half scowling, half smiling thing at me as I approached him.

“Bella?” he said…confused. “Are you…stalking me?”

And he really seemed a bit concerned about the possibility.

“I specifically asked you, yesterday if you had a phone I could use, and you said, no,” I told him, irngoring his worry, pointing at the cell in his hand, that he still hadn’t answered yet.

“I…” he said, then decided to go with the course of action giving him the least amount of trouble, and spoke into the thing for a minute or two, then ended the call, putting the phone back into his pocket.

“You asked if I had a phone and I said no…which I didn’t…at the time,” he smiled at that last part and then went to the bed that held the older, sleeping man and fiddled with the bed spread a little.

I huffed at him but before I could say anything else, he asked, “What are you…?”

“Ummmm…well, I was…” I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb. “In town, shopping for…stuff…and…I saw you…”

I was stumbling, and he was enjoying it, so I laughed, giving up.

“I guess yeah, I am kinda stalking you.”

Edward crossed his arms and shook his head as he laughed through his nose a little at me.

I couldn’t stop myself from staring at the man he’d come to see.

“Who is he?” I asked and even though he didn’t look like he wanted to, he obliged me an answer.

“He’s…my dad,” he said.  “He had a stroke.”

“I’m really sorry, Edward,” I told him, looking back to him but much to my surprise, he smiled.

“It’s okay, really,” he breathed in.  “He’s the reason I’m here and trying to fix those old vines up, actually.”

“Oh yeah?  You’re…helping him out?”

“Not really,” he said and then, “Doctor doesn’t think he’ll make it, so…” His eyebrows shot up while he made a bubble with his mouth as though he didn’t really want to say what would come next.

“You’re selling the place?  Isn’t it your family’s?”

“It’s my dads…not mine.”

“But don’t you…”

He laughed harshly. “No.”

There was an odd silence then between us and he finally said, “Time for me to get back…so…”

“Well, can I give you a ride back?”

“No, thanks, I’ll just…”

“Take a cab?” I asked him, smartly, crossing my own arms then, and waiting smugly for him to try and tell me he would walk.

“This is Sonoma, Bella, the walk here is a little more than what I might normally consider do-able.”

Oh.

That made sense, I supposed.

“Well I’m heading back that way, anyway, at least let me take you to the welcome center.”

He thought it over for a minute or so and then, seeming to be hesitant about it, finally gave in and we left after he spoke a few more words with his father’s doctor.

In the truck, he was quiet.  An elbow on the window, his thumbnail between his teeth and I contemplated asking him to expand on why he wouldn’t want to keep his father’s vineyard but decided against it.

He looked like he’d had a long enough day as it was and I knew all too well how suffocating a million questions about what your thinking could feel.

So, we drove like that.

Every once in a while I would lean my head against my hand and sneak a peek over at him.  I thought I saw a look in his eyes as he stared out of his window, sometimes.  Like he was remembering something, or, thinking about did dad, perhaps but he never did even a word.

As we pulled into the Welcome Center, much to my chagrin, Emmett was spotted, across the street, with Rose and some other people and I knew he’d notice the truck pulling in.

It was huge and loud and stood out like sore thumb.

“He’s not gonna be happy with you,” Edward teased and I sucked in some air.

“Well, like I said, he doesn’t tell me what to do.”

Edward let a short huff of laughter out and then we both exited the truck to say goodbye.

It had been a nice drive, despite the silence.

It was…healing.  Like the air that blew through the vehicle was clearing my head and making things a little better.

“Thanks for the ride, pie girl,” he said to me, smiling and slightly bending at his hips, toward me.

I couldn’t help but grin the biggest, stupidest smile at him.  “You don’t deserve that chocolate pie, liar,” I teased him.  “But you’re welcome, anyway.”

And then, there came Emmett, along with Rosalie and company.

“Bells, you’re back, good,” he said, pushing passed Edward. “We’re heading out to get some drinks, I was just gonna call you.”

Edward was turning to go when I stopped him.

“Wait, Edward…”

And he turned back to me, shoving his hands into his pockets as he did.

“Do you wanna…come with us?” I asked but even as I finished the question, I could see in his eyes that he wouldn’t.

He glanced over to Emmett, who looked away and started a conversation with Rosalie and then Edward smiled that smile of his at me and said, “Not today.”

And I could only half smile at him in response.

It hurt to think of what he must have been feeling right then and I wanted to punch Emmett for being the cause of it.

He was so stubborn.

Edward nodded politely, turned and I watched him walk down the main highway, back toward his father’s vineyard.

Alone.