Chapter 22 ~ Tangled Vines

Edward POV

I was ankle deep in muck.

And the pitch blackness of the night didn’t help my vision much, as I held my rifle at the ready, inspecting the enemy camp that my team had just compromised.

Gun fire began ringing in my ears as I attempted to hear what was playing on my iPod.

Then suddenly…there she was…Bella…just, standing there.  Just like I remembered her.

Tank top.

Short shorts.

And pie.

Right smack in the middle of the cross fire and there I was, about to ask her what in the hell she’s doing there when Felix replaced her form.

And he’s smiling.

“She’s my pie girl, now, Cullen.”

My eyes blinked open and Felix’s mug disappeared as I let the ceiling come into focus, putting my breathing in check as I noticed the colors that filtered in through the window.

Morning was close.

I’ll admit, relief was present, even though, nightmares didn’t scare me anymore. 

I knew what caused them.  How they worked.  How our subconscious drove them.

But still…

My fingers moved, to ensure Bella was still beside me and she was. 

Her skin, still soft as ever, legs still entwined in the sheets…and her body still felt right, next to mine.

She shifted.

Moved closer into me and I felt her hands move over my stomach, down toward places that were hard before those fingers even arrived there.

My eyes closed again, as I let out a little air, enjoying the feel of her hand, as it stroked, expertly up and down my shaft.

She wasn’t urgent. Wasn’t needy.  She was just, sending a message.

A message that made nightmares fade and life seem…normal.

It was all I needed.

I rolled over to her. Kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips.  I moved her hair, kissed her again and before long, we were in our own world, again. 

Our own universe. 

And the outside crazy could wait a while.

“I need you …” I heard myself whisper, as Bella and I moved together on a level of intimacy that I’d really only ever heard of through stories that my men had chatted about, in between missions.

Funny.  I always thought they were just exaggerating.

Until now.

It didn’t seem like my voice, though, when I’d said it.

It was someone who sounded…reckless.

Nearly violent, with desperation.

“Where,” she murmured back to me and her voice….she was urgent, then. “Tell me what you need.”

“Just…closer,” I told her, feeling my body shake with…something and I wrapped my arms around her in an attempt to make it stop.

I pushed.

She pushed.

It was hard…and slow, and agonizing and terrific and it still wasn’t good enough.

“So…much…closer.”

I kissed her.

Tasted her.

Drank her in.

But I just couldn’t…get enough.  Couldn’t feel her…enough, somehow.

Maybe it was because I knew I wouldn’t ever get enough of her…on a long term basis.

Maybe it was because in all honesty, the whole Felix thing had scared the shit out of me.  Not because I was scared of him.  Because I was scared of what he could do to Bella.

What he would do to her, had he been allowed to get his hands on her.

Just the thought of him…

I pushed deep into Bella and she arched her back, moaning a little as she rolled her hips against me.  Her hands grabbed at my shoulders and her breasts pushed up against me with hardened nipples and warmth and every bit of Bella that she could afford me.

I loved her like this.

Intense.

Passionate.

As though she was mirroring my exact feelings for her, with every movement.

I could feel, exactly where I’d reached into her and she gasped a little, breathing heavy, lifting a leg up and over my shoulder for just… the right… angle and I took a nipped in between my teeth.

Just the way she liked it.

Just enough pressure to make it feel good.

And then she was speechless… breathless… for just those few moments of orgasm.

And it never seemed to last long enough.

Never seemed to fully grasp the entirety of how she felt.

What she was thinking.

And before I could form that entire thought, I was cumming.

“Shhhhit,” I whispered against her, and it was perfection.

It was always perfection with her.

As I let it subside, my eyes were shut tight but when I opened them, she was there, still, looking up at me with… the best thing I’d ever felt.

We held that connection for a moment, and then she told me, “I don’t want to miss you,” quietly and I felt like someone had punched me in the heart when she said it.

But all I could get out, was, “I know.”

Then I rolled over, pulling her with me, into my chest.

Into me.

And I let my fingers talk, along her arm…her waist, until neither of us were moving anymore and all I could feel was…

Peace.

“You shouldn’t confront Felix anymore, Edward,” she said into the darkened room.

She’d been concerned about my visit to see him earlier but I assured her all I’d done was to make it very clear to him that he wasn’t to bother her anymore.

She’d eyed my knuckles, saw the redness but decided to ignore it and let me off the hook in lieu of some quality time together.

But I knew she was mulling it over.

“Go back to sleep,” I told her and she said, “Not sleepy,” as her eyes closed and her breathing shallowed.

I watched the sky become red over the trees outside and grazed some fingers along Bella’s shoulder as she slipped into unconsciousness.

I liked it there.

In the quiet, just before dawn moments, with her next to me.

It felt like, something intangible, something I couldn’t quite put a finger on. 

But it was good.

It was really good.

And you still need to get your ass out of bed.

I slid out from under the covers, left a short note for Pie Girl and headed out for the routine of all routines…my run.

And over the next few days, following my confrontations of relationships past, things seemed…brighter.

Lighter even, in some ways, without sounding too cheesy, despite that dream, I’d had.

Or maybe, because of it, I don’t know.

All I knew was, I was smiling at things more often. 

The vines, the trees, the processing of a certain label I was trying to finish up before leaving….

But especially things like, Bella finishing up with the Hale’s website and it pretty much becoming a huge success overnight. 

People were placing orders online from all over the U.S. already and they’d even received an offer or two to subsidize their wine.

Which is score, in the winery business.

You have no idea.

The woman was talented.

And I’m not just referring to the chocolate cream pie she’d made in celebration of the finalization of the website, or the way her hair would fall against her shoulder and she’d push it away like, ten times before finally putting her hair up, once and for all…or that smile.

The one she always saved for me, when everyone else was busy doing something else.

The one that made my lips curl up into its own secret smile.

The one that made me want to find a way out of going back to Georgia.

Rabbit hole.

Anyway, it was just, everything about everything she did.  Like with that site for the Hales…from the pictures she’d chosen to showcase the vineyard, and Napa even…to the applications she made available to users, customers and middle men.

Had I been hanging out for a while, I might have tried to convince Carlisle to break outside of his, “the wine you make should stay in the state you make it, Edward…” mentality.

On the personal front, Emmett and I were finding ways to mend what had been broken between us and although things were still a little tense with my dad, we were…communicating at least.

The one sincere downer still, was that there didn’t seem to be any concrete evidence of Felix poisoning Carlisle, so unless the guy actually confessed, I wasn’t seeing an easy way to prove it.

I know, not likely.

I needed him to pay, though.

For something.

And if it wasn’t going to be for the attempted murder of Carlisle, then it would mean finding Jane and getting some sort of legal affidavit signed sealed and delivered with regards to the attempted rape he’d been a part of several years before.

Except that, being there was no return address on Jane’s letter, I wasn’t seeing any way to get in touch with her to see if she was willing to make a showing in a court of law, against him.

But I did have a military contact.

Or two.

So I started the wheels turning on that front and hoped I could get something accomplished before leaving Napa.

Because dream or no dream…I didn’t like the idea of leaving Bella in the same vicinity as Felix Volturi.

I pretty much tried not to think about leaving, actually, even though it was always there. 

In the shadows.

Lurking.

It just bugged the shit out of me.

Had I known this…thing with Bella was going to turn into whatever it was that it had become, I might have thought twice about visiting her at the Hale’s that night I’d gone over there.

Desperate for the contact while irresponsibly disregarding the possible consequences of that contact.

Maybe I hadn’t changed all that much, after all.

It was too late to take any of it back though.

Not that I was a hundred percent sure I would have.

Or even wanted to.

Definitely didn’t want to.

I was certain Bella would be okay, she’d move on, live her life, start her company…make millions, probably.

It was me I was worried about.

Her presence was simply needed…Her touch was reassuring…and when we connected, it was…overwhelming.

She’d become this sort of, grounding pole for me. 

Like that tether, that’s the only thing holding you down when the tornados on life sweep through.

And it wasn’t even as though I’d just noticed it.

It was, just a matter of fact.

Like she’d always been there, but had only just come to the surface.

So when we did separate, throughout those days, for…whatever reasons…my visits to Carlisle, her impromptu meetings with the Hales about the website, questions that investors had for them…for her,  it was just…not so much painful…just, uncomfortable.

Like something was off.

And yeah, I said her.

Because when the right people see your work, things start happening really fast.

And apparently with Bella, things were skyrocketing at an incredible rate.

Nights never seemed to be a problem for us, but getting quality day time hours with here were suddenly difficult to pull off…even with promises of getting kicked out of local wineries and laughter a plenty…so I’d been lucky to pull her away for a drive over to Sonoma, finally, just before the weekend.

I’d wanted her to meet Carlisle, so this time, when she accompanied me to the hospital; I brought her into the room with me.

She offered him pie, of course, and he told me that anyone who brought him something to eat other than the hospital food he’d been eating, was good people in his book.

Like I didn’t know Bella was good people.

And since when did dad have a book?

I watched her interact with him and it was almost like they’d known each other her whole life.

She fell right into easy conversation with him about embarrassing childhood stories regarding Emmett and me and he seemed enamored with her…Not that I could blame him but I was pretty sure I hadn’t seen Carlisle laugh so much in all my early child hood.

I mean, technically he wasn’t laughing…it was more like…hacking up a lung. But still…the sentiment was there.

I spoke to the doctors and the “experts” about his condition and whether he’d be getting better or not, long run.

The general consensus was that, although no one would confess that there was any reverse effects to Carlisle’s condition at that point…they also couldn’t exactly say how long he’d live.

So, right there, in that bland, white walled hallway, I made an executive decision to bring him home.

He deserved that much.

I received about an hour’s worth of instruction on how to make sure he was comfortable, what he could eat, when to call…and was awarded a wheel chair for him to get around in the event he did get out of bed.

It wasn’t cheap, but like I said, he deserved what I could give him, based on the shit he’d dealt with since mom and me…and the guilt.

I realized, throughout the conversations we’d been having, that it was possible; I wasn’t the only one dealing with self deprecation issues.

It must run in the family, I thought, as we made the drive back to Cullen Vineyards as dad and Bella chit chatted about her home town, what she did and how she’d ended up in Napa and of course, he had a few looks for me, as he heard the story.

What amazed me was Bella’s fearlessness talk so openly about herself.

With anyone.

She held few secrets and much love in that heart of hers and I felt privileged to share part of it with everyone.

When we arrived home, finally, Bella helped dad out of the truck while I got the wheelchair out and I thought I’d heard somewhat of an intake of breath so I rushed over to him to see what was wrong.

But for once, it wasn’t anything that was wrong.

It was Carlisle though.

“Edward…” he said, with a slack jaw and wide eyes as I guided him to sit his ass down into the seat.

He waved me off, of course.

“You did this?”

And I wasn’t quite sure why I suddenly had felt warm in the cheeks but there was just something about the way he was looking at me.

It was off.

“Almost all by himself, even,” Alice chimed as she walked out of the house from the foyer.  She wiped her hands on her smock, smiling over at him in his newly acquired, weakened body. “Welcome home, Carlisle.”

He took her hands into his and returned the smile.  

And there was definitely something between them.

A bond of some sort, that clearly, was none of my business.

Bella’s cell phone rang, thankfully, and the two of them made their way inside so I said I’d grab Carlisle’s bag, then waited to see if the call Bella had gotten was important enough for me to leave her alone or not.

Her mouth twisted a little, as though she was thinking about ignoring it as she told me, “It’s just my mother.”

“Go ahead and take it,” I urged her, then began to give her some privacy.

She breathed out as she pushed the answer button.

“Mom,” she said and then her shoulders slumped and her face changed and I wanted to take the phone from her and throw as far into the vines as possible.

Never to be found, again.

I smiled at the thought.

But only half way.

She spoke, holding a finger up to me, insinuating I should wait for her and I was grateful to avoid being alone with dad and Alice.

Until the conversation she was having started to unravel.

“How did you…? No, I’m not…I mean, not now…I….”

She closed her eyes. “Mom, how many times do I have to go over this with you?  It’s my life. If you can’t be happy for me, then…”

The eyes opened, again and she was looking at me, so I had to assume there was some sensitive material being discussed.

My eyebrows scrunched and I cocked my head a little, to let her know I was heading inside to give her some privacy but she reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me.

“Then I guess I won’t be hearing from you, anytime soon,” she said and then ended the call, marching right passed me, despite the fact that she still had a pretty decent grip on my arm, as she did it.

And I followed right behind her.

“You okay?”

“Putting my whole life on hold…do you know that woman makes me so….” she mumbled and then stopped abruptly, fisting her hands in front of her, growling at me and I couldn’t help but pull my neck out of her reach for fear of losing an eye or…something.

“Bella?”

She grabbed at her hair a little before throwing her hands out at nothing and I swerved out of her reach be meer millimeters.  “I mean does she really think that after all I just went through, that I’d…”

“What?” I asked, tentatively.

And yeah, scared a little.  Not gonna lie.

Her body posture changed, her hands went to her side and she closed her eyes, breathing out before answering me.

“It was nothing, Edward, just my mom being…mom…let’s get your father settled.”

Then she started walking again and I’m thinking… “Didn’t sound like nothing to me.”

I stopped her gently, when she didn’t respond.  “Bella?”

And I saw something in her eyes, just before she turned and smiled up at me to say, “Edward, it’s not urgent, it’s not important, and it’s not anything that my mother should be giving me hell over….it’s just…”

And now worry was growing.

And eyebrows were scrunching.

“This company…or, CEO, whatever of this company, saw the Hale’s site, he’s a big wine distributor, I guess…buys from the Hales all the time…anyway, he wanted me to come see him about an entry level position…and I told him I was sorry, I just…”  she shrugged. “Couldn’t do it.”

As I was processing the fact that she’d turn down a huge opportunity for the sake of….me…my own cell phone rang and I answered it, as I watched Bella’s face remain all…smiley and I thought, maybe she did have a few secrets in that heart of hers, after all.

“Yeah,” I said into the phone, knowing who it was.

And the news…was good.

“No shit.” I motioned quickly to see if Pie Girl kept pens and paper in her bag and she did…then I wrote down the information that my contact was giving me and told him thanks.

I also couldn’t believe that all that time, Jane had only lived three short hours from Napa and was immediately figuring out a way to go see her when…

“Bella, you shouldn’t be putting things like the opportunity of a lifetime off for me…”

Then came the scowling.

That was fun.

“Why is it that you always seem to think I’m making decisions that are about you?”

I laughed.

“You just said…”

“I said I told him I couldn’t do it right now…I didn’t say I wasn’t doing it, ever, I’m just…putting him off.”

“You’re putting him off to spend time with some guy?”

Hence…the whole, me thing.

“I’m not…exactly doing that…”

“Bella this is a huge opportunity…”

“Ugh!  Now you sound like my mother.”

I stopped the flailing arm syndrome she was in the middle of and told her, flat out, “Bella, listen to me…”

“Edward…”

I put a finger up to her lips.

Figured maybe that would stop the jibber jabber.

“I have to make a trip.  I’ll probably go…” I looked at my watch.  “Tomorrow morning, first thing…so here’s the deal…” she relaxed some, and I let my finger leave her lips…regrettably. “You’re gonna call that CEO back, and you’re  gonna go see him tomorrow, while I go see Jane, and then…”

And her face…always priceless.

“Wait…what?” she asked, at the name Jane and I held the piece of paper up to her. “I know where she is.”

And then the smile Bella had been trying to fake…suddenly became a real one.

On our way into the house, I filled her in on my plan and I thought, things were falling into place.  On top of which, Dad’s private homecoming went pretty non-dramatically, actually.

There was no yelling, screaming or throwing of breakable pieces of china, so I considered that a win and Bella was able to get a hold of that CEO she’s blown off, who was more than happy to see her the next day over in the City while I visited Jane up in Sacramento.

I’d figured it would be best if she didn’t know I was coming, so I planned on a surprise attack from the South, to be my best bet.

As I approached the old house in the prestigious neighborhood, I wondered if she was still living with her parents and my palms became sweaty as I reached for the door bell, thinking about facing them.

It’s gonna be fine…just…breathe.

My finger made the rest of its way to the button and I heard the loud chime, from inside the house.  Then footsteps.

They were slow and they waited on the other side of the door for a few moments before anything else happened.

I assumed she had some sort of peep hole or…security camera posted somewhere, and was in the middle of realizing who’d come to visit.

“Jane?” I called out when it felt like she was just gonna act like she wasn’t home.

Nothing.

I took a breather, leaned a hand against the door jamb and then told her, through the crack, “I got the letter you sent my dad, Jane.  And there’s nothing to forgive.”

Another few minutes and I was about to just, give up, when the door opened, slowly.

And it wasn’t Jane on the other side of that door.

It was a defeated, older, version of Jane who looked like she didn’t get out much.

And she still had the burn scars that I’d bestowed her with four years or so, earlier.

I swallowed, taking a slight peek passed her, to see that no other people were inside, waiting for me and then I swallowed again.

Because this wasn’t going to be an easy visit.

It wasn’t easy to look at her.  And not because of the scars.  But because I’d put them there.  And she would never be rid of them.  And now she was…living like a hermit.

I tried to hear Bella’s voice inside my mind, telling me, “It wasn’t your fault, Edward,” but in all honesty, it wasn’t working very well.

“Edward?” she rasped out and I saw the tears in her eyes, even though most of her skin hid them throughout the disfigurement. 

“Hey,” I said.  My voice shaking a little. “Can I…come in?”

She allowed me into her home, and once we were passed all the awkward hellos and explanations about where our lives had taken us, since the last time we’d seen each other, she asked me what had brought me to her.

“You may not want to hear this Jane, but Felix…”

Her expression didn’t change much but I heard her gasp a little and then she looked away.  “Hasn’t he been put away yet?”

“No, Jane, not yet, that’s actually why I came to see you…” I hesitated in telling her, but it was my only shot at getting that guy put out of everyone’s misery, once and for all. “He’s doing it again.”

“He’s…”

“He tried to…” And man, I couldn’t even say it without feeling the absolute rage that had come over me that day I’d seen Felix at his house. “A girl…was, nearly hurt, and she got away, but he’s going to keep doing this to women, Jane…until someone does something.”

She was shaking her head, slowly at first, as though she wasn’t understanding what I was saying, but she knew…it was there, that fear, it was in her eyes, if nowhere else…and the head shaking became a little more urgent, like she was willing it all to be a dream as she started to get up.  “No…no you need to go, Edward, I can’t…”

“Yes you can, Jane.”  I tried to grab for her arm but she pulled it away from me.

“What about the girl, why doesn’t she just….”

“Because nothing actually happened…he was interrupted and…”

Still shaking her head. “You need to leave.”

“Jane.”

“Edward…” she looked at me as I sat there, staring up at half of her hair that was missing and skin grafts that clearly hadn’t taken well…things I’d only seen in the Army hospitals.

“I wrote your father out of sheer guilt over you taking the fall for something you didn’t do…something you actually stopped from happening…but there’s no amount of money, or…principal that would make me face that man and his family again…you need to understand that.”

“He tried to kill my father.”

She stopped and I thought I’d had her with that one. She seemed thoughtful, anyway.

“I’m sorry, but that doesn’t change things.”

Guess not.

“Well maybe we can try to…”

“You. Need. To. Go.” she said, finally, and with finality as she’d made it to the front door and was holding it open for me.

And I realized, I’d wasted a trip and not only that, but Felix would never be going to jail for any of this shit.

And that Jane…wasn’t the girl that I’d hoped she’d become.  The one that sounded promising, from the words on the piece of paper she’d sent my father.

“What did he do to you?”  I asked her but she wouldn’t look at me.  She just, pulled her sweater tightly around herself and held the door for me.  “Please just go.”

“If you change your mind, Jane…I’m at the vineyard for a few more days.”

I handed her a slip of paper with my cell number on it and told her to call, whatever the reason.  And even though she promised she would, I knew she wouldn’t.

The drive back was long and I let things roll though my mind for a little while, as I watched the road.

Things still had a chance of working out, I concluded.

Bella could get that job in the City and she’d be rid of Felix.  Granted, it didn’t solve the problem entirely, but as far as I was concerned, it was the only solution I was gonna get, and I was taking it.

And speaking of Pie Girl…

I hadn’t heard from her since that morning, so I had to assume things were going good for her and I was starting to feel better and better about the deal I’d been dealt and decided, somehow, some day, karma would kick Felix’s ass tenfold…and he’d pay the price for something.

He’d slip up somewhere, and then I’d reserve a front row seat for his death sentence and watch the light go out in his eyes.

Either that, or I’d hunt him down some night, when I’m on leave.

Some night when it’s over cast and no one can see passed a foot or two in front of them.

I’d slit his throat and watch the blood drain from his neck afterwards, as his head lay in my lap, so he knows it was me who ended him.

Just like I promised.

But you know, that’s only if the karma thing didn’t work out.

Which it would .

I had to believe that.

Once I was back at home, dad was nowhere to be found and Alice was cooking in the kitchen, with her phone up to her ear as she went about her duties.

I didn’t say much as I went directly to the fridge, trying to ignore the cooing sounds coming from Alice’s side of the room.

Gee, wonder who she’s talking to.

“He’s home,” she whispered but then, mostly, she sounded like she was…singing.  “Yes, I’m sure.  I know.  It really means a lot that you’re…”

She saw me staring at her then and turned a little, so I couldn’t hear what she was saying next, but I heard her anyway. “I miss you, too.”

She smiled, and it was a smile I hadn’t remembered seeing grace Alice’s face before.

Like…not…pissy.

My head shook a little as I pulled myself out of that imagery and I shut the fridge after grabbing a water. 

“Where’s dad?” I asked, swigging half the bottle down in one fell swoop.

“Sleeping,” was all she said as she went back to putting dinner together.

And still, a woman of few words.

“How’d your trip go?” she asked me.

I wanted to rage.

Wanted to throw that bottle of water in my hands at the nearest Volturi and yell that life fucking sucks and shit bags always get away with whatever it is they wanna get away with but that wouldn’t have been in line with how I was trained to react to those sort of situations…so instead, I took the rest of the water in and then crushed it.

“Not as well as I’d hoped,” I told her.

She gave me that…pity look that she liked to give me when, although she wasn’t about to sit there and hold my hand or pet my head, she wanted me to know that she knew…things sucked big, huge, hairy, donky balls.

“Okay then,” I said, blowing our moment off and then I started for the stairs, only to be stopped.

“Edward?”

“Alice…not really in the mood for an enlightening discussion about shit, if you don’t mind.”

“Okay,” she insisted. “Then I won’t enlighten you…” she told me and I turned to her, with my hand on the stair railing, waiting for my opportunity to get outta there.

“I don’t know if you remember when I first interviewed with your father, Edward.  But…I was pretty down on my luck.”

“Uh huh…” I mumbled, honestly wondering where she was going with this if it wasn’t to enlighten me, somehow. 

“I came to Napa from a pretty fucked up home, not so far away,” she said, and my eyebrow raised an inch or two, not remembering one single time when I’d ever heard that woman cuss much less use the f-bomb.

But she ignored me.

As usual.

“Carlisle took me in, gave me a chance, even when he didn’t have to…and I had zero experience in…” she swung her hand around at the house and her eyes got a little bigger. “groundkeeping.”

Then she gave me an Alice look.  “Or babysitting.”

And okay, I let out a slightly amused huff of air at that one. 

‘Cause I was pretty much a pain in her ass for about six years.

Then I crossed my arms and got comfortable, leaning against the railing as she continued…not enlightening me.

“One of your father’s rules, right off the bat, was that I stay out of his personal business….that I not insert my opinions on his actions with regards to anything or anyone…that I do my job, mind my business and everything would work out fine.”

Oh now I see.

“I guess it just…became a habit…and by the time you were home, this time…I just….”

“Yeah,” I said. “I guess I can understand that.”

“I should have said something, Edward, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

And if one more person tried to make shit right with me on this trip, I was pretty sure my well being was at stake because I’d spent so many years accepting the fact that I was a screw up, I wasn’t all that sure my mind could handle trying to learn that, maybe I wasn’t.

I didn’t say much.  I wasn’t all that great at accepting apologies.

It was new territory for me.

So Alice wrapped it up.

“Anyway, over the years, I’ve learned that Carlisle always seems to know what he’s doing…despite the mishaps of his relationship with you.”

I nodded after a few seconds of the most awkward silence I’d ever encountered and told her, “Well, thanks, Alice, for…not enlightening me.”

She didn’t look apologetic anymore, when she said, “Yeah, I guess I lied.”

And despite Alice’s cryptic, stand office attitude, most of the time, I knew she meant well.

I smiled and winked at her, then headed upstairs and noticed that Carlisle’s door was cracked open. 

I couldn’t pass by without checking in on him and yeah, he was sleeping, alright.

Stepping into the room, quietly, I walked around, taking a look at some of the chachkies he had laying around.

A few old souvenirs, from trips past.

My graduation picture hung above his dresser and I took note of the look on my face, that day.

Good times.

There were wine tasting awards, letters of recommendation that he’d been given, a couple of award certificates from the grape festivals he’d concurred.

And in the end, a picture of mom still sat next to his bed.

I just did not get that guy.

I picked it up, like I had that first night I was in town and looked at her and as I held it, questioning her silently for the decisions she’d made and then something slipped out from behind my mom’s photo, onto the floor.

When I picked it up, I noticed it was hard to recognize the two people in it.

It was a man, holding a baby.  It looked to me like it was a newborn and the man was looking down at that baby with tears in his eyes and love on his face.

A smile on his lips that told me he was happy.

Like it was possibly the happiest day of his life.

I flipped it over and wiped at my eyes that were barely wet.

“Carlisle and Edward” it simply said and I flipped it over again, taking in the baby’s face this time as it grabbed at larger than life fingers and stared back up at the man holding him.

I put mom’s picture back onto the table next to dad’s bed and kept the photo of me and Carlisle.

It would go next to Bella’s note I’d saved, in my duffle.

Another memory to take.

Then I found a blanket and sat myself down into the reclining lazy boy over the corner of his room, just watching him for a while, checking my cell phone every so often, for any missed calls from Bella.

The last thing I remember was the smell of grapes wafting through the window and images of a happy family that had to have existed somewhere along the way.

It gave me hope.